I’m not popular… why?

For those of you wondering, that title is meant to be a joke.

Marine City MI
Marine City, Michigan 2015

Haven’t been here for a while but nobody really has been visiting this site, my own fault for not promoting it much.

For starters, I’m on break from my college studies into IT and will be away from it for a while. The month of March is a pain in the ass due to the big bills, then it’s pleasant for me in the end due to my birthday being on March 31st. My 35th birthday yay! Yes, 35 is a milestone year but my party will be small and just for a couple of hours. I do want to keep it at 20 people or less, but something tells me that won’t be the case.

I live a low-profile life, not so much to what happens to Saul Goodman after he disappears in Breaking Bad and you see him in the very beginning of Better Call Saul, working at a Cinnabon and just being a fucking nobody. All the way up until I was about 31-32, I had searched for popularity for the most part. I wanted to be the coolest kid on the block, I wanted to be accepted. My elementary school and middle school days, I wanted to be one of the top 50 most popular kids in school. But due to me being a special Ed kid, it didn’t really come to me. And in those days, I was upset with that.

High School, I went to East Detroit High for a year in some change. I got the boot in Feb or March 1999 and my popularity in Eastpointe, MI got a boost. Before then, I was not loved so much at East Detroit or in the city of Eastpointe (they changed the name of the city in 1992 from East Detroit, the school kept the name) due to the wannabe gangster lifestyle going on. Now when I think about it, I can see why a ‘Goth’ like me didn’t fare well in the then haven of wannabe gangsters of East Detroit.

At the end of 1998, I got rid of the whole Goth mentality and just went normal. But also, I was angry at being in that shit school that I kept getting in trouble. Just a few small things to earn me a day suspension or a three-day. It finally led up to me being offered a choice to go to Kellwood Alternative or stay at East Detroit and be monitored by a Special Ed teacher. Most of my school K-8th grade was in Rochester, and they had a lot of money at the time. I’m unsure of Rochester’s schools finances because I heard they were in some debt in 2008, but a lot of people were getting fucked due to the bad economy. Myself included.

East Detroit schools however, lacked money and most of the teachers didn’t get paid shit back in the late 90s, therefore, most of them didn’t care. I don’t blame them for it now. East Detroit at the time was a rough school and some of the kids were from broken homes. In Rochester, I was living with my Aunt and Uncle, which was very rare for kids to be living in that matter in those days and I’m still guessing Rochester’s population with divorced parents are still a little low. East Detroit, it was mom and step-dad or step-mom and dad. It was common to be a kid with divorced parents or something similar.

My brief popularity in 1999 was my giving up of the ‘Goth’ life and being me. One day, I’ll just wear a funny t-shirt and some shorts, the next day, I’ll wear a basketball jersey and blue jeans. But it was also due to some fights I had won or just some insult matches I prevailed on. But also, I was blamed for a couple small petty crimes I didn’t commit and they could not prove. Never to the point where I was taken to jail or court, in which I kinda wished they did at the time, so I can prove they don’t have shit and get a lawsuit on them. Never got that lucky.

And in my late 20s to early 30s, I wanted to be loved on Facebook, something I do every once in a while now. I currently have 260 friends on Facebook and I like it. But around my 31st birthday, I had 350 and I really wanted more. I wanted to be the best friends with the popular folks in the bars of Macomb County, Michigan. I really wanted me to be on the pictures of some of the local bands, in which I got. But I wanted more.

Around summer of 2014, I had a few things go a little wrong in my life that took a while to fix. And just after that, the wish to be Mr. Popular or have 2,000+ friends on FB or Twitter (I got less than 600 followers now) just dwindled.

Another push was due to some issues with friends in 2016 (last year) I was trying to help. To make a long story short, in 06-08, I was having some troubles and was helped by a few friends who had good jobs and making the bucks. So I thought to myself, when I get there, I’ll help those who are like me (back in 06-08). At first, I didn’t mind helping, but a few of them overtime were just totally fucking up and I lost my patience. Now, truthfully, when I look at it, I perhaps should have been more patient due to my own memories of hitting the bottom of the barrel. But in 06-08, I hardly drank, did no hard drugs and kept working as much as I could when it was available. The problem in those years is I wished I saved more money. It’s the reason why I’m a save-a-holic now. I can be a cheap cunt from time to time. I blame my ADD for it, you can too.

But a few of those folks I was trying to help, they wanted to drink and drink. Fine, but god damn, if you crying the fucking blues that you want to be out of your situation, sometimes or even altogether, you need to withdraw from that beer and whiskey (and the meth too). But then again, it could be worse; you could be married to one of those selfish people featured in that new show My 600lb Life. I suppose having a shit dead-end job were you spend your low income on beer just to pass time by is better than waking up every morning to a big fucking hippo that you married 10 or more years ago spending all your money on food to keep this hippo from fucking complaining… I suppose that’s better. So perhaps, I shouldn’t bother.

God damn…

There’s more to that story of me helping some of these folks, but I’ll cut it short from there.

Another factor is Election fatigue and people overreacting to U.S. Politics. Yes, a lot of people don’t like Trump. I didn’t vote for him either (I voted for Gary Johnson, and yes, he was a dope). And really, the majority of political complaints are online. I never had got into a serious argument at a bar or with family and friends over the election, but FB and Twitter for the most part have been filled with fucking people just bitching about Trump. Twitter is much worse, even when there is a hashtag being promoted that has nothing to do with Trump or politics for that matter, there’s always some cunt whining about Trump. God damn, where’s the balance?

I don’t like the guy either, but there’s something people need to be doing instead of sitting their fat asses on the computer bitching about Trump 16 hours a day, whether it’s on Twitter, FB or even going on YouTube and acting like a cunt.

But also, there is a reason why people bitch about Trump online, there’s money to be made for web sites and content. Have your Google ads up while you call Trump the devil, and you can make a few bucks, or a few pennies. Lots of competition in Politics online. Plus, we had a lot of A-list celebs bitching and telling us who to vote for. Call me a Trump-supporting asshole for this, but it’s funny to see people like Whoopi Goldberg, Madonna, Shia LeBouf (I didn’t know who he was until he did his HWNDU movement) and Rosie going bat-shit crazy over Trump.

So with these days, I’m okay with being a nobody. We have a lot of somebodies acting like assholes over politics. If I’m going to die a nobody (which will be likely, and I’m fine with that), I do want to meet some interesting folks. On my 33rd birthday, I did sit next to Helio Castroneves who’s an Indy Car Driver and also was on Dancing with the Stars. I also met Geoff Downes in 2004 and Isiah Thomas on my 11th birthday. So, I like to meet a few more somebodies or has-beens before I go six feet under.

Also, it’s kind of a bitch when you are the 353rd and last person being called for help on a seriously uncomfortable situation that needs to be resolved quick. I had said no to many of these and the person wasn’t happy. Oh well…